Monday, February 15, 2010

From the depths of me

Here i come again. With yet another array of keystrokes, forming non meaningful words to find a meaning in my own life. These lines, I wish, would tell me who i am in this world confounded with inventing new technologies but always with old ideas. I dont hold a degreee in literature in English, so dont hold me against a grammar that is wrong in my post. Now, coming back to finding me, it is an almost easy question that almost keeps popping in my head and as always eluding answers. Not this time around. I am going to press on the accelerator with full throttle and release it only when the destination is reached. So, here it goes.

IT was in the early morning hours. The sun still had a few hours time to rest before it was going to visit my part of the world. I was resting too along with the sun in the most comforting beds getting as much sleep as i can. Truth be spoken, that is all I had been doing for the past few months or atleast that i remembered of it. The bed i had was one of a kind. It was specially designed by its maker for me. It consisted of an elastic material that was specifically designed to fit my whole body as if consuming me like a second skin. The inner portion of the elastic blanket was filled with warm liquid, a little jelly kind, to keep me warm. The warmthness of the fluid always ensured me calmness even in the worst climates. It was as if i had achieved what many seers were trying years to achieve. Peace.

It was at this time when i sensed something. Something disturbing my sleep. A small stir. And then, a little chillness seems to have entered the inner portions of my blanket. The blanket was opened just above my head. A tiny little opening... Voices started to float around me. The voices were muted initially but then got little clearer. I was beginning to wake up from my sleep as the voices started to get louder. I could hear my mother shouting but mostly her words were incoherent to me. There were two more voices whom i could not recognize. I was a little afraid not sure if i have to wake up, open my eyes and accept whatever lays out there or shut my eyes close and live in my own little world where things were so perfect.

In my fear, i just held tight to my little blanket trying to think it through. It was easy yet so difficult to decide. I had two options. Hang tight to the blanket, stay in and be safe Or Let go, go out and accept whatever is out there. Even before i had time to decide, somebody started to push me out of my blanket. One of the security features about my special blanket was the person inside could come out only when he wished to. It cannot be opened from the outside.

The force just below my feet started pushing me out in earnest now. The fluids within the blanket broke and started rushing out and along with it me. The force was too strong that i felt someone was using a compressor at one of the blanket and pushing everything out. It was such an immense force. I was trying to force myself against the tide of gushing fluids and pressure and stay in.

In the midst of all this, there was a scream. It was my mother. She seemed to be in immense pain. There was no more reason to hide. Her scream was like a trigger. I had to get out and fight whatever is going to be thrown at me out there. I just started pushing my way out of the blanket along with the pressure at the other end of the blanket. I started seeing a hand trying to grab me. I did not care anymore. I just kept pushing out. Slowly, my head was out and the hand grabbed my head. The hand started to pull me out slowly careful not to hurt me yet.

On my part, not knowing what else to do, I just let out a huge wail. Expecting that would bring someone to help. All of a sudden all commotion stopped. I was still wailing, my eyes full of water. The water from my eyes started running freely on my chin. My vision cleared a little and i saw three pair of eyes on me. I could recognize two of them. The third was a stranger. The stranger turned to my father and said "Congrats, Sir. You have a baby boy."

As if waiting for that moment to come, the sun rose above the horizon through the windows of the hospital room and touched me for the first time.